Hello My Name is

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<<set $lightMode = 1 >>

"I'm sorry," you text. "No. I'm sorry," he replies. [[Start swiping|Mini game]]

You kick him square in the genitals. [[Return to the present. Don't worry. He knows not to mess with you. |Mini game]]

Thank ye, adventurer. The therapist lives in the southern swamp of healthcare, a long journey across the moorland. But first you must pass though the gate of private health insurance, and the troll there will require you solve his riddles three, beware, adventurer. [[Head south to the gate]]

Alexander 🍅 Alexander is ripped and "likes listening to music." [[← swipe left|Sophia]]     [[swipe right →|Sophia]]

Annabella Never know what to put in bios. Looking for friends and fun. [[← swipe left|Alexander]]     [[swipe right →|Alexander]]

"Hey bestie." "Hey, love." "You doing okay? Taking care of yourself?" "Yeah. Doin' my best." "Oh, you must be out! I'll call you back later. Maybe next week?" "Next week sounds good." [[Return to the party|Walking home with Doug]]

The two of you make small talk for a while as you sip your drinks. "So, where are you from?" he asks. "Ohio," you reply. "Oh, cool. So, like, what are you mixed with." "White," you glare a little bit. "Oh, my bad, sorry, I hadn't thought about how insensitive that was." "It's okay." You tell him about your mom how she immigrated to the US, and your white dad. The two of you start talking about your favorite cartoons. Drinks finished, another round ordered, finished, he turns to you. "You wana' come back to my place and watch some cartoons?" [[Go home with him]] [[Say goodnight]]

You meet Jenny at the bar. <<if $garlic is true>> She informs you that vampires avoiding garlic is just a superstition, but she likes the gesture. <</if>>The two of you hit it off and you end up back at her place. You kiss. You like the feeling of her fangs as she nibbles your lips, ears, neck... [[Fuck]] [[Flee]]

Betty and John Couple, looking for a third. 🦄 [[← swipe left|Jacob]]     [[swipe right →|Jacob]]

"Hi. This is Felicia. Please leave a message." "Hey Felicia, it's me. It's been a while. Miss you." [[ Go on the Apps|Spicer]]

Hi, this is Eden, the maker of the game. I know it can be hard, but, really, everyone should be in therapy, especially if you are a member of an oppressed population. I know there is a lot of stigma around it, and it can be hard to ask for help, but, if you found this game, then you're a little weirdo. And I like little weirdos like you, and I hope that you will take care of yourself,^^1^^ which if you are a human with feelings, involves talking about, managing, and caring for those feelings. 1: The first person to tell me this was Kate Bornstein in her book //Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws.// Thank you, Kate [[Accept quest]]

The little mosquito in your brain starts to whine: "You really think you get to choose who you are?" <<linkreplace "Keep spiraling">> Why don't you choose to be less naive. You're going to be stuck in this body, being the same old you the rest of your life. <<linkreplace "Keep spiraling">> The body of a mixed race, non-binary, sad-they. Neither white nor black, neither woman nor man, you are defined only by your lack, an amorphous cloud of identities shifting, coalescing, rarely precipitating, completely illegible to everyone, including sometimes yourself. <<linkreplace "Keep spiraling">> You don't even get to choose your own name. No matter what you call yourself everyone will always call you what your mother calls you. <<linkreplace "Keep spiraling">> Your mother. Woof, you're as old now as your mother was when she had you. Imagine having a kid already. <<linkreplace "Keep spiraling">> Maybe let's not do that. Anyhow, it's still Thursday and you're still lonely and still a little bit horny. [[Choose a photo|Photo]] <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <<linkreplace "Take a deep breath">> You breathe in. [[Breathe out|Take a deep breath]] <</linkreplace>>

You watch yourself and Doug continue to have sex as you float away toward the ceiling. He finishes in a few minutes and you are relieved. You float back into your body over the next few days. <<set $bodyCount += 1>> Your body count is now $bodyCount. [[→|Later]]

This game was made by Eden Attar with support from The Luminary and the Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts.

Sophia takes you to see some experimental theater show. It's... stimulating. You tell her as much. She invites you over for more stimulation. You kind of just want to sleep. [[Go home to sleep]] [[Go home with Sophia for sex purposes]] [[Go home with Sophia for sleep purposes]]

You tell him that you don't really want to have sex right now. "Oh, okay," he says, disappointed. You kiss a few more times, but things wind down pretty fast after that. You head home. [[Later]]

Doug Doug reminds you of your ex. [[swipe right →|Matched with Doug]]

You don't particularly like this photo either, but at least it's recent. You also find a beach photo. <div id="gbr-choice">\ <<link "Upload">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">> [[Start swiping|Sally]] <</replace>> <</link>> <<link "Nah">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">> [[Start swiping|Sally]] <</replace>> <</link>> \</div>

"You may now pass Though my gate!" You make a mental note to bring your address up to date. [[Continue into the Moorlands|Moorlands]]

You ask him about the art on his walls. [[Keep snuggling]] [[Go home]]

You have finished the quest. Thank ye, adventurer, and godspeed, for there be many more quests to come. [[Return to game|Next week]]

<<if $corset is true>>Straightening your corset, you tell her that you had better get going, having work in the morning and all.<</if>><<if $corset is false>>You tell her that you had better get going, Having work in the morning and all. <</if>> [[→|Next Week II]]

You: Flutter, sorry. <<timed 1s>> [[Keep swiping|Vamp]] <</timed>>

Freddie Freddie is an androgynous pirate, still looking for their own ship. [[← swipe left|eve]]     [[swipe right →|eve]]

It's Friday and you're horny <<linkreplace "Start swiping">> It's Saturday and you're horny <<linkreplace "Start swiping">> It's Sunday and you're horny <<linkreplace "Start swiping">> It's Monday and you're horny <<linkreplace "Start swiping">> It's Tuesday and you're horny <<linkreplace "Start swiping">> It's Wednesday and you're horny <<linkreplace "Start swiping">> It's Thursday and you're horny &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; &emsp; [[Stop swiping]] <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>> <</linkreplace>>

You have sex with Jenny! She bites the fuck out of you, which is //exactly// what you wanted. You text her in a few days to see if she wants to go out again, but she's overseas for a hematology conference and won't be back for a couple weeks. <<set $bodyCount += 1>> Your body count is now $bodyCount. 🫦 [[Start Swiping|Karl]] [[Turn into a cloud]]

Hi. I'm Eden, the maker of the game. You're about to make a questionable decision. Healthcare providers expect you to have insurance, and set their prices to reflect that, making the assumption that big money bags private insurance companies are footing the majority of the bill. Seeking healthcare without insurance is like paying the asking price for a car at a used car lot. Nobody expects you to do it and it's a bad idea. In fact, there is a complicated legal grey area around physicians charging patients lower than the Medicare rate, which has the effect of prohibiting physicians from charging what the patients are actually able to pay. One of the main things insurance does for you is negotiate the price of healthcare and drugs. You can pay literally 10 times as much for things like labs and MRIs if you are paying out of pocket. That said, doctors offices are constantly inflating the prices of things to get more money out of insurance companies, and occasionally you can get them to charge you the un-inflated rate if you don't have insurance, but that is not something that you should bet your health on being able to do. So please get insurance. It's paperwork and it's money, but it will cost you less in the long run. I believe in you. This does not constitute medical or financial advice. [[File the paperwork and make your first payment|File his paperwork]]

You're going on a date with a vampire. What do you wear? * <<checkbox "$garlic" false true>> Garlic necklace * <<checkbox "$lipsick" false true>> Blood-red lipstick * <<checkbox "$collar" false true>> Spiky collar for kink-coded protection * <<checkbox "$corset" false true>> Corset [[Head out|Bar with Jenny]]

You get up and whisper into the mirror <h2> "Hello, my name is $name" </h2> Thank you for playing. [[Credits]]

You get up to get a glass of water. His apartment is really nice. It's minimal, but not in a way that screams "I have more money than I know what to do with." You check your phone. It's late. [[Go back and snuggle with Doug]] [[Go home]]

//Poof// you're a ghost. You find an old house to move in to, you live in the upstairs closet for a while. Soon you grow bored of small-scale scares and fly home to haunt your mom. She blows your phone up with missed calls and voice messages and you start to feel guilty. You fly back to the old house with your suitcase, ready to move back into the closet, but they've since sprinkled it with holy water and you melt into ectoplasm when you enter. Doug stops texting after a couple of weeks. <<if $kiss eq 1 >> You miss his soft lips. <</if>> [[Start swiping|Mini game]]

You snuggle with Doug. He looks at your mouth [[Kiss]] [[Find something to talk about]]

You go back in time and tell him to eat shit. "But you just told me that we were okay!?" and you realize that he also experiences time the way that you do. [[ Go back in time to when you first met and kick him in the genitals.]] [[ Apologize]]

You tell him that you aught to go home. [[Later]]

You go home to your warm bed and sleep the whole night through. [[→|Thursday Again]]

You go home with Sophia. She gives you a massage which slowly turns into sex. You're reasonably sure that it would be great if you weren't using all your strength just to stay awake. <<set $bodyCount += 1>> Your body count is now $bodyCount. 🙌 [[→|Thursday Again]] <<set $SophiaSex = 1>>

You tell Sophia that you're too tired for sex, but would love to go over to her's for a no-expectations slumber party. She's very game. She massages you to sleep and makes you breakfast in the morning. [[→|Thursday Again]]

You go home with Doug and start to watch an episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle. Doug, sitting next to you, pauses the program. "Do you think Rocky and Bullwinkle are gay?" "Of course," you reply. "Good for them. I'm hopelessly straight myself." You nod, unsure how to respond to that. He continues "So are you like, bisexual, or?" "Yeah, something like that." "Cool." He hits the space bar of his laptop and the show starts up again. A little later he puts him arm around you. You're not really sure what you want. [[Move closer to him]] [[Get up to get a glass of water]]

You invite Sophia to a seance. It's a bunch of literary theorists trying to ask James Joyce questions via Ouija board. Ulysses is still Greek to you, but Sophia makes you cum hard in the back seat of her car afterward. You agree to hang out again next week. <<if $SophiaSex neq 1>> <<set $bodyCount += 1>> Your body count is now $bodyCount. 🙌 <<set $bodyCount += 1>> <</if>> [[→|Next Week IV]]

You arrive at the gate of private health insurance. It is shaped like a giant 1950s nurse cap with a path going through it. It has a giant red cross at the peak. A little troll arrives, and in a shrill voice he says "If ye wish to pass the gate with ease, you must solve my riddles three!" [[Receive riddle number one]] [[Push that little shit into the moat]]

It's a Thursday morning and you are horny. [[Masturbate]] [[Go on the Apps|Spicer]] <<set $swiping = 1>> <<set $bodyCount = 0>>

Jacob Down to earth, looking for connection, open to short or long term. [[← swipe left|Spicer ad]]     [[swipe right →|Spicer ad]]

Joseph Biochem student, WUSTL class of '24. Likes dogs Joseph is a dashing young nerd. [[← swipe left|Annabella]]     [[swipe right →|Texting with Joseph]]

Karl Karl is an adorable little man. [[← swipe left.|Freddie]]     [[swipe right →|Karl II]]

Karl is very cute and shy. You walk around the botanical garden together and discuss your favorite flowers. His are digitalis. [[→|Next Week V]]

You start to make out. He goes to take your shirt off. You're not really sure how he's reading your body and gender, and are a little concerned about how he might react to seeing you naked. [[Tell him not now]] [[Let him undress you]]

You keep snuggling. He looks like he wants to kiss you. [[Kiss]] [[Go home]]

Kira I'm stuck on a roof. Please only swipe right if you have a ladder ;) You don't have a ladder, but you have a step stool? [[← swipe left|Friday]]     [[swipe right →|Kira II]]

You find out that Kira is a trans woman from Texas, where she still has a partner who they are trying to move out to someplace safer. "Not Missouri," she clarifies. The goal is ultimately to move up to Minnesota. Maybe get some friends together to start a co-op. Eventually she does, in fact, lit out for the promised land, tracing the path of the great migration that some not-so-distant relative of hers must also have made. You miss her company after she leaves. Like two birds of a feather whose trajectories intersect, who swirl around each other briefly before continuing on their way, your life has changed by knowing her, even if you can't put words to it. It's Thursday and you're horny. [[Start swiping|Friday]] <<set $Kira = 1>>

You kiss. He has nice lips. [[Go home]] [[Keep kissing]] <<set $kiss= 1>>

Later, Doug texts you: "It was really great to see you this weekend. You want to go out again soon? My friend is having a party at his place in Tower Grove if you want to come." [[Ghost]] [[Reply that you'll go]]

He undresses you. You feel a bit exposed. Anything questions he had about your body have now been answered. He obviously wants to fuck. [[Have sex with Doug|Sex with Doug]] [[Don't have sex]]

You masturbate. Your horniness has been replaced by loneliness. [[Call a friend]] [[ Go on the Apps|Spicer]]

You matched with Doug! Plans are made. [[→|Bar with Doug]]

You matched with Rachel! <<timed 1s>> Rachel: Hi <</timed>><<timed 2s>> You: Hello there <</timed>><<timed 3s>> Rachel: So. Let's get down to business. Are we going to fuck, yes or no? <</timed>><<timed 5s>> You: Umm, I literally haven't even met you yet. <</timed>><<timed 6s>> Rachel: Yeah, and we're going to keep it that way until I figure out if your a nutter or a flutter. <</timed>><<timed 8s>> You: Nutter or a flutter? <</timed>><<timed 9s>> Rachel: Yeah, like we gon' get our nut or you just gonna flutter around like a butterfly and flirt with me. <</timed>><<timed 10s>> You: Oh I see. <</timed>><<timed 11s>> Rachel: So which is it? <</timed>><<timed 12s>> [[Nutter]] [[Flutter]] <</timed>>

You matched with Sophia! Dear god, what do you say!? <div id="gbr-choice">\ <<link "Something flirty">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">> You: You have such a beautiful smile. What's the best way to bring it out? <<timed 2s>> Sophia does not respond [[Keep Swiping|Jacob]] <</timed>> <</replace>> <</link>> <<link "Something dirty">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">> You: I'm glad you like the beach, cause I'd sure like to see //you// mostly naked. <<timed 2s>> <b>You have been blocked by Sophia.</b> [[Keep swiping|Jacob]] <</timed>> <</replace>> <</link>> <<link "Something sweet">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">> You: I've always thought that Sophia was such a beautiful name. <<timed 2s>> Sophia: Thanks. <</timed>><<timed 3s>> You: What are you up to Friday? <</timed>><<timed 4s>> Sophia: I'm trying to make it out to my friends new theatre experience if you want to come? <</timed>><<timed 5s>> You: Sure do. [[Friday|Sophia house]] <</timed>> <</replace>> <</link>> <<link "Something neat">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">> You: Did you know that pigeons are one of the few birds that lactate? <<timed 2s>> Sophia: OMG that's fucking disgusting... You free Friday night? <</timed>> <<timed 3s>> You: Yes. ;) <</timed>> <<timed 4s>> [[Friday|Date with Sophia]] <</timed>> <</replace>> <</link>> \</div>

MINI GAME: GET HEALTHCARE Ye adventurer, have been chosen to take this quest, to find the fabled therapist. [[Accept quest]] [[Chicken out]] Author's Note: I must acknowledge the current life-threatening state of affairs in Missouri regarding trans-related healthcare. Things are changing too rapidly for me to make any specific recommendations here, but for all transgender related resources check out the St. Louis Metro Trans Umbrella Group (MTUG.)

You make your way through the moorlands of therapists who don't take your insurance, the swamp of unreturned phone calls, and the jagged foothills of what-the-fuck-do-these-therapeutic-specialties-even-mean mountain. You find someone eventually, but you don't like them, so you try to find someone else. You need to get some information to your old therapist, so you call his office. When the receptionist answers you introduce yourself. "Hello, my name is..." and you tell them the name that your mother calls you. It tumbles out of your mouth and drips ungracefully onto your chest, like beer dribbling from a bumped cup. Your new therapist is a much better fit. It's hard at first, and makes you feel worse, but after a while it is only hard sporadically. You start to feel, in general, better. [[→|Finished quest]]

You snuggle with Doug. He looks at your mouth [[Kiss]] [[Find something to talk about]]

It's Thursday again, and, like clockwork, you are horny. [[Start swiping|Karl]]

It's Thursday again, and, like clockwork, you are horny. [[Start swiping|Vamp]]

As the week passes, a dove builds a nest in your chest and beats its wings against your chest throughout the day. Something comes up and Sophia has to cancel. You are horny. [[Start swiping|Rachel]]

It's Thursday again, and, no surprise, you are horny. [[Start swiping|Freddie]]

It's Thursday again, and, like clockwork, you are horny. [[Start swiping|Rachel]] <<if $SophiaText eq 1 >> Sophia has written back. [[Go out again]] <</if>>

You: Nutter ;) <<timed 1s>> Rachel: Tonight? <</timed>><<timed 2s>> You: Yes. <</timed>><<timed 3s>> Y'all bang. She's //really// good at sex. <<set $bodyCount += 1>> Your body count is now $bodyCount. 🤤 [[→|Next Week III]] <</timed>>

<div id="gbr-choice">\ <<link "Take a deep breath">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">>You breathe in. [[Breathe out|Take a deep breath]].<</replace>> <</link>> \</div> <div id="gbr-choice">\ <<link "Keep spiraling">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">>Your mother. Woof, you're as old now as your mother was when she had you. Imagine having a kid already. Imagine having a kid with such an old man as your father. You wonder if you can find an old man 15 years your senior to have sex with in what will quite possibly be the worst ancestor simulation one could imagine. Maybe let's not do that. Anyhow, it's still Thursday and you're still lonely and still a little bit horny. <span id="output"></span> [[Start swiping|Sally]] <</replace>> <</link>> <<link "Take a deep breath">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">>You breathe in. [[Breathe out|Take a deep breath]].<</replace>> <</link>> \</div>

You don't have any photos that you particularly like. [[Take a mirror selfie]]

You go to push that shrill little shit into the moat, but he is faster than you. He evades you and continues with his first riddle. "Riddle number one is very fun! A PPO or an HMO? This is something that you should know. What do you choose?" <div id="gbr-choice">\ <<link "PPO">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">> "WRONG! //You cannot win you only lose.//" [[Second riddle]] <</replace>> <</link>> <<link "HMO">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">> "WRONG! //You cannot win you only lose.//" [[Second riddle]] <</replace>> <</link>> \</div>

Rachel Looking for fun. [[← swipe left|Vamp]]     [[swipe right →|Matched with Rachel]]

"Riddle number one is very fun! A PPO or an HMO? This is something that you should know. What do you choose?" <div id="gbr-choice">\ <<link "PPO">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">> "WRONG! //You cannot win you only lose.//" (In all seriousness, please find Brian David Gilbert's video essay "A terrible guide to the terrible terminology of U.S. Health Insurance." Available on YouTube) [[Second riddle]] <</replace>> <</link>> <<link "HMO">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">> "WRONG! //You cannot win you only lose.//" (In all seriousness, please find Brian David Gilbert's video essay "A terrible guide to the terrible terminology of U.S. Health Insurance." Available on YouTube) [[Second riddle]] <</replace>> <</link>> \</div>

You go to the party with Doug. His friends are... surprisingly nice. Y'all take ketamine and hook up in the coat room. As you lay on the floor, head cloudy with drugs and orgasm, you feel like you've been here before. Your friend Felicia is calling [[Answer]] [[Text her that you'll call back later|Walking home with Doug]] <<if ndef $Doug>> <<set $bodyCount += 1>> Your body count is now $bodyCount. <</if>>

Sally Hiii! I'm Sally. I do gay and be crimes, rawr. Catgirl. Poly. There are a number of photos of Sally, a racially ambiguous catgirl. The first photo is of her typing at a colorful backlit keyboard wearing cat ears. The second is her sitting on a park bench with her head thrown back, long brown hair breaking against her shoulders like a waterfall. [[← swipe left|Joseph]]     [[swipe right →|Joseph]]

You tell him that you had better get going, but that it was nice to meet him. [[→|Later]]

"Riddle number two, just for you! Are you a man or a woman?" [[Lie|Third riddle]]

You and Doug hook up. While you are having sex you start to dissociate [[Tell Doug that you need to stop]] [[Continue having sex while having an out-of-body experience. It'll be over soon anyway...]] <<set $Doug = 1>>

You find the lack of vulnerability self assuring. You also find a beach photo. <div id="gbr-choice">\ <<link "Upload">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">> [[Start swiping|Sally]] <</replace>> <</link>> <<link "Nah">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">> [[Start swiping|Sally]] <</replace>> <</link>> \</div>

The photo is fine. You double check to make sure that you don't have anything in your teeth. You also find a beach photo. <div id="gbr-choice">\ <<link "Upload">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">> [[Start swiping|Sally]] <</replace>> <</link>> <<link "Nah">> <<replace "#gbr-choice">> [[Start swiping|Sally]] <</replace>> <</link>> \</div>

Sophia I love the beach, my dog, taking my dog to the beach, and taking the beach home on my dog. [[← swipe left|Betty and John]]     [[swipe right →|Matched with Sophia]]

You meet Sophia at her house before going out. The two of you chat for a bit as she feeds her dog. Pregaming before the show, you start to kiss on the couch. You don't end up going. <<set $bodyCount += 1>> Your body count is now $bodyCount. 🙌 [[→|Thursday Again]] <<set $SophiaSex = 1>>

You log on to spicer Time to make your dating profile. [[Write your bio|Choose your character]]

The makers of <blink>Spicer</blink> haven't found a good way to make money off this app yet&ast;. So we are gong to prompt you at almost every single step to buy one of our silly power ups. These include: → "Swiper no swiping:" Have AI swipe for you to find the perfect match. ($9.99/week, $12.99/mo) → Three rights make a left: Don't just swipe right, swipe right so hard that you swipe left! ($8.99 for a pack of 12) → Multiple profiles: Not sure what to put in your profile? Wish you could try out different angles? With multiple profiles you can manage all your different personas in one place, because, let's face it, who are you //really//, anyway? (Every photo of you ever taken + $3.99 service fee.) [[Continue|Doug]] &ast; Like, we totally thought that we would make money off this app by collecting data and selling it to advertisers, but we have such a small seat at the advertising data table that it just barely covers the cost of running our overseas data server. Time is up and we need to pay our venture capital investors their 35 million dollars back that we borrowed and spent mostly on advertising to get more investors. Please?

You make plans with your old friend Felicia for the weekend. The two of you go camping somewhere you forgot existed, forgot was so close. You also forgot how close the two of you were. While you're out there you bring a sketchbook and draw all the bugs that you see. <<if def $Kira>>You write a letter to Kira to mail when you get home.<</if>> You look back on your sketches with fondness. You start to think that, maybe, you could become someone else... You start to feel like maybe it wouldn't feel so dumb to choose a new name for yourself. What would it mean to find your own life within this body that you both are and call home, and to give that life a name? You try out different names for a while, Kora, Emmer, Smash, Bang, Alex... Eventually you find one that you like. Laying in bed one morning you roll the name around in your mouth, feeling its edges, learning its dimensions, its limits, you measure its hardness with your teeth. The name you have found is <<textbox "$name" "">> [[Get up]] <<set $swiping = 0 >>

<<if $swiping eq 1 >> Body count: $bodyCount <</if>> <<link "Toggle Dark Mode">> <<set $lightMode = ! $lightMode>> <<run Engine.show()>> <</link>>

You breathe out. The old air makes space for the new. [[Choose a photo|Photo]]

You only know how to make three faces: [[Duck face]] [[Smile]] [[Sexy stare]]

"Oh, ohkay...." He seems disappointed. You start to feel a little guilty, but you manage to push those feelings out of the way like 1970s macrame curtains. <<set $bodyCount += 1>> Your body count is now $bodyCount. [[→|Later]]

You tell him not now, and he seems a little disappointed. You kiss a few more times, but things wind down pretty fast after that. You head home. [[Later]]

You tell him to eat shit. You don't hear from Doug again. [[Start swiping|Mini game]]

You tell him that you understand. He says he still wants to be friends. You don't hear from Doug again. [[Go back in time and tell him to eat shit]] [[Start swiping|Mini game]]

You text Sophia to see if she wants to go out again. In the meantime [[start swiping.|Jacob]] <<set $SophiaText= 1>>

You've matched with Joseph! <<timed 1s>> Joseph: <3 <</timed>><<timed 2s>> You: <3 <</timed>><<timed 3s>> Joseph: <4 <</timed>><<timed 5s>> You: ...... <</timed>><<timed 6s>> Joseph: ??? <</timed>><<timed 7s>> [[Keep swiping|Annabella]] <</timed>><<timed 8s>> Joseph: How's it goin'? <</timed>><<timed 10s>> Joseph: Would you rather travel to the past or the future? <</timed>><<timed 13s>> Joseph: You have really beautiful eyes. <</timed>><<timed 16s>> Joseph: <3 <</timed>>

"Riddle number three, to benefit me Send me paperwork and money!" He throws sheets of paper in the air while spinning and dancing. You scramble to pick them all up and get the pages in order. [[File his fucking paperwork and agree to write him a check every month for the rest of your foreseeable future.|File his paperwork]] [[Fuck it I'll pay for therapy out of pocket]]

It's Thursday and you're horny. [[Start swiping|Jacob]] [[Text Sophia]]

You turn into a cloud and float around for a few days, pouring rain over the great plains, shooting some lighting into the occasional tree. Eventually without noticing you form a piece of hail the size and shape of your old body and it precipitates into a nearby field where you thaw and find yourself shivering. You drag yourself home to your warm bed and charge your phone. Jenny is still out of town. [[Start swiping|Karl]]

Jenny Vampire. Need blood. Jenny looks like Morticia Addams. [[← swipe left|Karl]]     [[uwu big tiddy goth gf! swipe right →|Vamp II]]

You matched with Jenny! She sends you a message: Jenny: Hey cutie. Want to get a drink? You: I figured you only drank blood? ;) Jenny: We'll get to that later if things go well <3 Plans are made for this evening [[Get ready and leave]]

You stay the night with Doug and he walks you home in the morning, holding hands as you stroll through Tower Grove. He tells you of his and his friends capers and exploits, and you start to like Doug for who his is, instead of for that dark attraction that you feel to the deep fear he stirs up inside you. Following the plot of one of his stories, you teasingly call him a gayboi for liking you. He laughs, but the mood shifts for the rest of the walk. He kisses you on your doorstep. A little later he texts you. "Hey. I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm really comfortable seeing a trans person." [[Tell him to eat shit]] [[Tell him you understand]]

<h1> Hello My Name is</h1> A choose your own adventure through tinder CW: This game contains descriptions of sex, negative self talk, and transphobic bad guys. swipe right → to like somebody ← swipe left to say no thank you The collapsible menu to the left allows you to move forward and backward though your choices, as well as see your one and only stat: BODY COUNT [[Start game|It's Thursday and you're horny]]

eve eve is wearing a colorful smock and painting a portrait of Mitski. [[← swipe left|Kira]]     [[swipe right →|Kira]]